Haven't eaten since waking up.
Last bits of food was some raw cabbage around 2am.
Today, so far just two coffees. Coffee seems to be my regular breakfast and lunch.
I'm failing the challenge big time: I already went over budget at half-time - and yet I'm still hungry all the time, and with good reason.
At least if I told the story interestingly! But no, I'm really not a writer, not even on the level of blogging. I lack the discipline.
Which is a good enough reason to force myself to see this project through.
Should look into stuff : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVRlXn9mAs
Today I spent $1.50 on phone calls about work. I'm hesitating to spend the $22.80 to upload my phone - that would be going beyond the budget in a way that I wouldn't be able to pay the rent in full on March 1st. I'm trying to avoid that as long as I can.
That's also the day when there's a fundraising event for a cause that I do support already and would love to support even more - but as it's a ticketed event http://www.admission.com/search.php?tm_link=tm_homeA_header_search&language=fr&keyword=spectacle+b%C3%A9n%C3%A9schiste at $20/$25 (which would be the fundraising part), I won't even be able to be there to take my place among the supporters :(
Really sucks.
I cooked the pasta and started to thaw the rest of the ground beef.
Pasta was simple and quick (water, salt, oil), but interestingly enough, I kept putting off the 'serious' part of the cooking... haha, my usual procrastination, why wouldn't it show in my cooking attitude? :P
(cca. 300g)
Anyway, I got around to it and should be ready in 15-20 min from now.
As always, the base is sautéed onions (a really Hungarian thing would be to add paprika right away), which then welcomed the beef with a can of full tomatoes and a splash of green peas - the usual grab-whatever-comes-first choice...
(some random chicken seasoning I own besides chili)
... this time, however, directly influenced by a friend's earlier suggestion on facebook to let the beef cook in the tomato sauce, instead of on just the onion - I guess that's the first real interaction, however indirect, on this blog - PEEP CULTURE???
Peep Culture doc: http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/passionateeyeshowcase/2011/peepculture/
Am I becoming one of them...???
The Peep Diaries: http://thepeepdiaries.com/home/
(never cooked with whole tomatoes before - but they come from a can, can't be too healthy: it was the cheapest)
9pm: it's ready.
I've been starving real bad, and now anybody would expect me to jump at the ready yummie food... and I don't. I have to force myself, literally, to let go of the keyboard and whatever the hell, just take my time and have a decent, well-deserved dinner.
I'm forcing myself to delay uploading the pictures until after. It's scary how at this moment writing the blog seems more important than actually feeding myself.
That's where my problem lies.
Peep Culture doc: http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/passionateeyeshowcase/2011/peepculture/Although managed to convince myself to eat at a table without a monitor (isn't that the norm?), I still must do something while eating. Has been like that since teenage years: if eating alone, minimum is to read. Movies work, too. It comes down to that food seems to be so unimportant for me that I don't even want to pay my full attention to it. In rare moments, I can delight myself in sweet treats and feel in heaven - for a few seconds, or while the chocolate lasts (prolongued orgasm, tumm). But a full dish, even if it's something I really like, just can't seem to deserve all that focus, my brain is bored while eating.
(By the way, shootings REALLY spoil my appetite!)Nor do I go to extremes in making sure everything I'm putting in my body is as healthy as possible. Just on the level of common sense, I try to avoid extremely harmful stuff, but you have seen me eat my plastic soup and have my plastic coffee at work, and still occasionally choossea $1.39 + tax dirty double cheeseburger to oppress a several days-long meat craving.
All in all, I'm not a health freak. Beggars cannot be choosers, can they?
9,45pm: another 50 cents on another phone call about another temp job. good news, but sadly, it won't pay before my rent is due.
12:30am - starting to get hungry again. can't stop thinking about chocolate or anything sweet. wondering about naturally sweet foods I could legally binge on for a buck.
1:30am - I raid the fridge and stuff several spoonfuls of the meal into my mouth. I feel I totally could eat what's rest, right now. Have to think about cost-efficiency and try to go to sleep. Will dream about Chocolate Heaven.
